“Wanting the poetry back in my life…”

Where did all the romance go? The love that was intrusive, all encompassing, inconvenient but above all essential, vital, enriching. I grew up with the concept of love conquering all, Sleeping Beauty’s prince gives her the kiss of life, Cinderella’s man clutches her one shoe while searching the kingdom for her; even song lyrics portray love as an inescapable union, “I’ve got you under my skin, I’ve got you deep in the heart of me, you are so deep in my heart that you’re really a part of me”, and then movies where even prostitutes end up with their million dollar prince charming who climb up fire escapes as a declaration of their love. So brainwashed was I that when emerged into the world of dating I started out confused as to the lack of attention, the lack of poetry, the lack of the Carey Grant charm infused with Bond like sex appeal. Where did it all go? Had I missed the age of Romance? All anyone could talk about was ‘The Rules’ and how best to play The Game. Books no longer were about helping men create the perfect evening for their beloved or how to best win her heart, instead the bestsellers were entitled “He’s just NOT that into you”! I honestly believe that back in the day when women were courted, and men’s intentions had to be proven honorable it was easy for women to play ‘the game’, play it cool, as they were enjoying the romance. Today woman’s insecurities are teased, exacerbated, and provoked, so now the infamous ‘Game’ is played as a shield, a defense mechanism, ultimately a survival technique.

I know I am generalizing greatly and not being fair to the modern day romances, and urban myths we seldom hear of…but I am concerned about the fact that these stories have become anomalies, that even when you hear about a fairy tale romance the truth behind the façade is anything but picturesque. Shouldn’t they have added these twists to the narratives we heard growing up? Perhaps while Sleeping Beauty was in her drug infused state the Prince was having threesomes, sordid affairs and not exactly pining over his Sleeping Beauty! Or when singing “you are so deep in my heart that you’re really a part of me” what he meant to say was, ‘you are so deep in my heart because you haven’t slept with me yet, and until I haven’t, you are going to be a part of my entire thought process.’ Ok, maybe that is too harsh for a 12 year old, but there should be a warning sign somewhere along the way so that our expectations aren’t so high and our perception of love more realistic. As you may have gathered I am slightly jaded, slightly bruised but yet still hopeful, still dreamy and wishing for the poetry back in my life.